Blast Your Calves—Once and for all!

If you are not seeing results in your calves despite training them like a beast, you might want to try this technique on for size.

This aint me btw. : (

From what I’ve experienced, heavy weight/low reps seems to do nothing for me. Maybe it does for you, or maybe it used to work, but not anymore, but overloading the calves with MANY MANY REPS seems to finally give me the limping, painful aftermath we all seek after working out.

Yes, you seek that. You should seek that. It means you kicked your muscles’ ass pretty bad and they’re pissed. Therefore, they’re going to get bigger and stronger so they can deal with your monkey ass next time you pick on them. You big bully.

Take, for example, yesterday’s workout. Besides squats and other crap I did for the quads and hams, I bombarded the calves with what scholars everywhere refer to as a “fuckload” of reps. 6 sets of standing, 6 sets of seated.

Smith Machine Calf Raises:
1. 15 reps or til you can’t take the burn (if you don’t get to 15, pause for 5 secs then continue like that ’til you hit 15) All the way down for a good stretch, hold it for 3-4 secs, then all the way up, stand on the balls of your feet for 5 secs really crunching that shit, then back down)

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Walk it out for 10 seconds.

2. 15 reps or til you can’t take the burn (if you don’t get to 15, pause for 5 secs then continue like that ’til you hit 15) All the way down for a good stretch, hold it for 3-4 secs, then all the way up, stand on the balls of your feet for 5 secs really crunching that shit, then back down)

Walk it out for 10 seconds.

3. As many reps as you can without altering the weight, again ’til your calves begin to FUCKING-SMOKE! (no need to hit 15 this time; just your max)

4. Now, jump around! On the balls of your feet, don’t let the heels touch the ground. don’t bend your knees. Jump HIGH. On landing, your heels will come down but they should barely “kiss” the floor if touching the floor at all. Perform a little hop in between and exhale before each high hop.
Do this for 20 seconds.
Your calves and FEET should feel pain.

Walk it out for 10 seconds.

5. 15 reps or til you can’t take the burn (if you don’t get to 15, pause for 5 secs then continue like that ’til you hit 15) All the way down for a good stretch, hold it for 3-4 secs, then all the way up, stand on the balls of your feet for 5 secs really crunching that shit, then back down)

Walk it out for 10 seconds.

6. As many reps as you can.

Walk it out for 10 seconds.

Total Standing Calf Raises: 65-75 (depending on the “as many reps” sets. Assuming 10 or 15) Plus 20 seconds of power jumps.

 

Seated Calf Raises:
1. 15 reps.
Add enough weight so that you can only do 15. But make sure you go down SLOWLY. Do them just like the 10 in 30 method of 1 sec up, hold 1 sec, 3 seconds down. Then hold at the bottom, ensuring a good stretch for 3 seconds.

Don’t make it so heavy that you’re conking out at 10. Remember, we’re going for max reps without getting ridiculous.

Walk it out for 10 seconds.

2. 15 reps.

Walk it out for 10 seconds.

3. ‘Til failure.

Walk it out for 10 seconds.

4. Jump around! Just like before. Jump up, jump up and get down. 20 seconds.

Walk it out for 10 seconds.

5. 15 reps.

Walk it out for 10 seconds.

6. ‘Til failure.

Total seated calf raises: 65-75 (depending on the “as many reps” sets. Assuming 10 or 15) Plus 20 seconds of power jumps.

DONE!  Total calf reps in all: 130 through 150 with no more than 10 seconds of rest between sets of 15. Plus 40 seconds of high calf power jumps.

The key to this madness is the very little rest times. You’ll be surprised how fast the calves recover and you’re able to do more complete sets. Also, the bodyweight power jumps will join in the ass kicking. Those calves have many bullies.

IF you don’t have a Smith, or just hate the shit out of it, you can use the calf raise machine at the gym. Or the leg press. In fact, if you’re trying to enlarge your calves like I am, you should train them TWICE a week, this hard, and alternate between doing them on the Smith (or standing calf raise machine) and the leg press machine. The press is significantly different because it eliminates one pivot point—your waist. Calf raises on the leg press are similar to Donkey Raises such as:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWJhEsPrueQ&start=26

OH NO THEY DINT!

 

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  • I know u freeze-framed the vid, you freaking pervs.